Sometime ago, a girlfriend of mine said that I must be so happy that I can commend my thoughts to paper whenever I felt the need. It came across as strange because I never really considered it a need. From the moment I discovered I could write, I saw it as new found love and a necessary part of my life, one which embodies my joys and sorrows, my hopes and fears and everything in between. It takes courage to write. It is a courage that frees one. With that said, I wish to state the case for which this article is written.
I was having a bath one evening when this question arose in my mind: “Are thoughts about God and Sex opposed?” I was going to dismiss the thought, but again I realised how many people have had to confront this question. I had to contend with it in other ways earlier in life. From an early age, I was thought to believe that there is a God who created the world and everything in it. It is this same God who created me. Why did He do it? He created me because He is Love and love wants to reach out of itself. In reaching out of itself, love creates. God created me because He loves. This is why He demands the same of me; to love and serve Him in this world and to be happy with Him forever in heaven. Fair enough.
But after some time I realised that beyond this thought of loving God is the undeniable presence of many people out there who I see and know to be in need of love. At first this need was purely out of concern for others’ welfare. Later, it came across as a need to reach out to those my heart is drawn to. I used to describe this feeling as a “magnetic” pull from which one could neither run nor hide. I grew up in a pretty balanced home so it wasn’t hard for me to see this kind of love in practice. My mom and dad were my first example of love between a man and a woman. What amply captures their relationship for me was a postcard my dad sent to my mom while they were still dating. It was the picture of two lovers sitting and discussing. The woman lay in the arms of the man and the man pressed his ear against her head. From then on, I had a burning curiosity to know what bonded them so closely.
I have enjoyed some measure of intimacy with some ladies in my life. Each experience has shown me how many different ideas of love can exist at the same time. I may have to someday write an article about my “love” life. But for now, it suffices to say that we all have different shades of meaning when we speak about love. For some people, they just need a companion, someone to talk to, to listen to them and hold them when they are lonely and distressed. Others have a totally different view. For them, the “Sex-element” must be a prominent marker. In fact, there is no love for them without its sexual expression. And this is given prime consideration. “If he/she isn’t good in bed, then forget it!” As much as I don’t immediately dismiss the importance of sex to a relationship, there is a need to set priorities right. Responsible sex can only be had in the confines of marriage. I recently had to answer the question, “Which would you prefer in a relationship, French kissing or intercourse?” The question revealed how intercourse has become common place and so, many have turned to kissing as an expression of intimacy. But even this betrays our need for intimacy which neither sex nor kissing can fully express or capture.
Putting the two together, sex and God, I came up with the opinion that God created sex as a means of expressing love between intimate couples. The indiscriminate use of sex as enjoyment, pacification, sport or adventure has lowered its value in the eyes of sexually active persons. Good in itself, sex is valuable and wholesome because of the one who made it. To really enjoy an automobile, for instance, we need to ask its manufacturer for instructions about its use. The same goes for sex. A good sexual life is not opposed to a Godly life. Those who protest against this either have no idea or are scared to admit it; their many sexual escapades in ample evident of their tiresome and often fruitless search for true sexual meaning. You need seek no further. Go to God.
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